A whole (or not whole) new me :)

*whispers* Hello?

 

Well I certainly did not mean to be away for quite so long, gosh, 10 months to be exact.  Though I DO have two excuses…well reasons rather than excuses. The first is called Instagram. I am sure you are familiar with it. I became slightly swayed by the quick-fire instant nature of this wonderful social networking tool and I am afraid it tempted me away from my blog here on the interwebs. I have added a little Instagram feed on the right over there, so you can see what it is I have been doing all this time.  So if you're on there make sure you say hello! :)



From my feed - @snipsnaphappy :)

 

The second reason is much less fun and frivolous and all together more serious I am afraid. I shall adopt a Serious Face and give you the story of the last 5 months. This story will be more quite wordy without much mention of fun and craft-filled times I’m afraid. But once we are done with this update I can then move on and happier topics can once again prevail. This is not an easy tale to tell, and I am going to share some pictures I haven't showed anybody yet (don't worry, nothing gory.) Right. Ready? Here we go...

 

You may recall, maybe, that back in the early months of last year I had begun to get ill. I have had ulcerative colitis since I was 19 and it was slowly becoming less and less controllable using conventional medicines. I had tried every form of treatment available from steroids to chemotherapy and none of it was working. My hair was falling out, my face was rounded and moon-like from the steroids, I was exhausted, depressed and unable to cope with the smallest of dramas. Then my consultant threw into the mix that if something drastic wasn’t done soon I could be looking at a perforated bowel, or cancer. I didn’t like the sound of either of those you will not be surprised to hear : /

 

So drastic measures were indeed taken. When I say drastic I mean Drastic with a capital D.  On 29^th August last year I was admitted to hospital for a "total proctocolectomy and ileoanal pouch construction". In other words my entire large intestine was removed and my small bowel reconstructed in a complicated 6-hour-surgery. I then spent 9 days horrendously ill in hospital before practically crawling out to get home to my family. For two months I had an ileostomy but it was recessed and stomach acid burnt my skin constantly. It was the most difficult time I have ever experienced and for 4 weeks I could barely even walk, let alone look after my children. There were some days when I couldn’t even summon the energy to watch television, and I certainly couldn’t crochet.

 

My brand new stoma bag, given to me a few weeks before the op full of contents I couldn't coprehend.

The night before surgery, waiting in hospital to get hooked up to all the IVs etc.

The morning of the first operation, waiting to be wheeled down to theatre.  My face is all poofy due to the steroids.

3 hours post-surgery & out of it on large doses of morphine.  Hooked up to several monitors and tubes & a morphine pump.

 

On 24^th October I went back to hospital for a second surgery, this time it was to remove the ileostomy and re-attach my small intestine so that I could start using my new “j-pouch”. It’s complicated but essentially my small bowel has been reconstructed to take over the job of the large intestine. This time I was in for a week, it wasn’t easy but it was a lot easier than the first surgery. Once home I could then properly start to recover and get used to my new internal plumbing.

 

1 hour after the 2nd surgery and NO morphine this time! :)

 

That was almost 3 months ago now. It is still early days and I am still adjusting to the new way my body works. But I take no medications, I can eat most foods and I am NOT SICK. It’s all rather strange, and actually despite the whole thing at the time seeming agonisingly slow it was really all rather quick and I sometimes have to stop and take a breath when I think about all that has happened to me. Life has changed dramatically, but I think it has changed for the better.  So far so good.

 

That should of course be the end of the story, but it’s not. I had 7 months off work to cope with my illness then undergo the two surgeries and subsequent recoveries. I returned to work two and half weeks ago and on Tuesday last week I was told I would no longer have a job. My post is to be “deleted” and I am now in a 30 day consultation period before either redeployment or redundancy (I work for a charity and any redundancy will be statutory so this is not an opportunity to rake in a lovely big severance package believe me!)

 

So that about catches us up.  Sickness, surgery, sickness, surgery, miraculous recovery, new start, redundancy...the rest is yet to come and I have no idea what the future will hold. But I do know one thing - I have the energy, the strength and the emotional capacity to handle it. Oh, and there will be crochet :)