Thank you for the lovely supportive comments on my last post, it is so wonderful to be connected to so many other mothers who can understand in some way what I am going through right now. I am taking it one day and one night at a time right now. Though to be honest night and day kind of blurs into one long stressy mess at the moment. These early days of babyhood are so hard...soooo much guess work involved, so much unpredictability. I do prefer some predictability, never been one for flying by the seat of my pants. I could cope with the interupted nights of sleep if I knew for certain what was coming and when - could cope with breastfeeding at 2am for an hour if I knew with certainty that when I popped her back - warm, cosy, cuddled, comforted, clean, dry and well fed - into her basket she would then fall peacefully asleep...not cry instead. It's moments like those that really baffle me, and in the dead of the night really stress me out.
The arrival of yet more snow here in our little corner of England has also scuppered plans for any trips out and about with the buggy, even in the car. Combined with a serious lack of light I find myself getting quite cabin-feverish. I need to get out soon!
Lillia has been a real superstar, has been entertaining herself far more these days than she has been used to. Making little camps with her ripple blanket. The stool and cups are a "mulberry bush" apparently and she has been skipping around them singing quite a lot. I do feel for her, all this being cooped up indoors in a tiny house with a crying baby and a tired mummy. It's hard to feel at this point that providing her with a sibling has been a Good Thing. Maybe in a few months when Phoebe is older, more smiley and interactive perhaps, when mummy is maybe getting more sleep, maybe then it'll all feel worth it.
All my crocheted blankets have been getting a lot of mileage these last couple of weeks. There has been a LOT of sofa time, a lot of TV time, a lot of cold weather and being snowed in. It has made me decide to attempt to start a new crochet project to keep me going along. Something rather big. But more on that soon.
Thanks so much again for the lovely messages of support, that really do mean an awful lot to me, I frequently check in to my blog from my phone and look at what lovely comments have been left - it gives me something to do at 2am when I'm part cow, part human, part zombie - they always make me smile.
One day at a time.