January

Despite the usual joys and festivities of Christmas coming to an end I usually welcome the month of January.  A lot of people find it a bleak time of year but I see it more as the gateway to a new year and the start of a new road ahead.

This year, despite the obvious difficulties I am facing, is no different.  January has me feeling almost optimistic.  I have a long year ahead - I need to recover, I need to teach a whole new person how to sit, smile, laugh, eat, talk, walk..sleep!  I need to learn to be a mum to two children, to balance their needs and be equal to both of them. 

These early January days are most definitely Baby Days...

Surrounded by the paraphenalia of baby care, I spend my days feeding and talking at a totally unresponsive newborn who looks at me with that withering newborn stare, as if to say, "what are you doing, woman?"

It's not easy.  Little sleep, little clue, lots of guess work and whys and what-ifs.  No smiles yet to give me courage in what I am doing.  Feeding is not without its problems this time around and Phoebe and I endure some miserable battles to feed.  But slowly but surely we are getting there, an hour, a day, a night at a time.

My "winter" candle holders are out on the windowsill.  I will light these in the evenings, what little I see of them, to bring a little festive light to the room and avoid everything looking too bare now the decorations are packed away.

And so begins 2011, I am hopeful for a rewarding one, it's going to be one hell of a 12 months!  I've been looking back at my blog posts over the last year...this time in 2010 I was making my matryoshka dolls and crocheting toilet roll covers.  I really must get around to doing a photo review of makes from the year..just as soon as I've finished changing nappies and shaking rattles of course :)

xx